I'll be reaching for the stars tonight.

These are things that were written around 2.5 years ago, in the end stages of my divorce.  I've been revisiting my old writing lately, to gain some perspective and note how much my state of mind has changed.  It's quite refreshing to realize that I don't recognize that girl anymore, the one who was scared and sad and pliable.  And while now-me isn't someone that 19-year-old-me ever thought she would become, it is someone that she would respect.  Being able to look yourself in the eyes is a good feeling. 

And now, old poetry.

Someone Else

You breezed into my life
- well, it was more like stormed -
and made everything start changing
- well, really, made it all conform -
to everything you saw in me
- well, actually, to someone else.

You always said all the right words,
- no wait, that isn't right -
and the look in your eyes...
- no, that was just the lights.
You just wanted me to be myself
- actually, you wanted someone else.

The illusion couldn't last
despite how hard we tried
for you to change who I was
while I staunchly denied
I would ever let someone change me
into someone else.

It wasn't all one sided, though
because I had tried too.
I created the perfect person
and then pretended he was you.
While really all along we knew
we were both just someone else.

I have a second start now
to be all of my dreams,
to make the most of my life,
but somehow now it seems
I'll always have this one regret...
not you, but someone else.


One Day

I’m looking for the day
When the innocence is gone.
I know that it is coming,
And I know it won’t be long
‘til his heart is broken,
‘til he understands
That someone who should be his hero
Isn’t even a man.

He doesn’t want your presents,
Or your clothes, or your games.
He doesn’t want big parties.
He doesn’t need you to give him things.
What he wants is your attention.
What he wants is to hold your hands.
All he needs is your love,
Love you don’t even understand.

One day soon he’ll realize,
One day soon you’ll make him cry.
One day soon his heart will break,
‘cause there’s no love in your eyes.
One day he’ll make the choice,
A hard one and sad.
He’ll know that you’re his father,
But someone else will be his Dad.