You are my sunshine...

Cole's home. I'm happier than a clam... that isn't in chowder? Sorry, I just completely forgot how that phrase goes.

We had a good night. Hot chocolate and cookies and a game called Cariboo, which is pretty simple and fun. Simple is so the key to it staying fun, at least fun for me. And then we watch the Doctor for a bit... yay for Netflix!

He's asleep in his bed, in his very clean room. I finally got it clean yesterday, and now the majority of the floor space is taken up by a tent. He's pretty happy about that. Tomorrow we're going to pack up his train set and set up his Hex Bug Environment thingamawhopper that he got.

I'm sure the room will be a mess again by Monday, but I'm just not thinking about that right now. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

I tried to work on wedding planning tonight, but it just wasn't doing. In other news, I've decided that I want to shave my head and elope.
Don't tell B.

I'm the only one that fits you.

I don't like yellow gold. I don't like huge rings. I don't like open lace work. That being said, this is my engagement ring, which will also be my wedding band.

It's perfect.

...when earth collides with all the space between.

You know that update I promised? Well, it's time. And just because I'm in sort of a Quentin Tarentino mood, I'm doing it in reverse order. Trust me, it works better that way.

So this week, Cole has been gone to his father's. That's enough about that.

Last week was a normal week. Work, sleep, housework, work... Thursday was extra exciting because I ordered this dress that I'd had my eye on for a bit. But that's about all.

The week before that... oh, busy, busy. We spent the later part, the 5th through the 9th at my parents having a belated Christmas. My birthday was then, too. And my uncles and aunt came over. It was a good time. B got to meet more of my family and Cole was cracked out on sugar the WHOLE time. I have no idea how much candy he snuck (I know, that's not a word). I seriously need to clean out his toys. He already had too much and now he has waaaaaay too much.

Oh, yes, and New Years. Can't for get New Years. I did my usual didn't-do-anything for New Years Eve. Actually, I was working at the stroke of midnight. And I left work at 12:40, oh so ready to go home.

And then, I got a call. From B. And he told me to go back to work.

I couldn't figure out why he would say that. So, I asked, "WHY?!?". And he told me, "Because that's where I am."

I didn't understand that. He had to tell me about 5 times in all to turn around and come back. I had driven right past him when I left. I didn't really believe him until I pulled back in the parking lot and saw him standing there. I was pretty well in shock when I got out of my car, so you'll have to ask him if I greeted him appropriately or not.

And I got in his car. He had stopped by my place and grabbed clothes for me to change into, and stopped off for me to quick change. And then off we went. He refused to tell me to where and it took me a while to figure it out since he took the most backwards way possible. There is a dam in the area, and we've been out there before. So, he hauled me up the hill to the top of the spillway. And, yes, he kissed me.

Which was what I expected to happen after I finally figured out we were heading towards the dam.

But then, he got on one knee.

I didn't expect that.

And, yes, he asked me to marry him.

I'd actually had some witty remarks prepared for when this happened, you know, in six months or a year. I managed to forget every one of them. I barely was able to choke out, "Yes."

The adventured of this single mom are drawing to a close. Soon, they will be adventures of another sort.

Cole's uber excited. Oh, and so am I.

Open up your eyelids and let your demons run.

Today I failed.

And I don't leave things half done, so I failed thoroughly. 

Some days that happens.  It's not okay, but it still happens.  No matter how much  you know better and how much you do really want to keep it together, it still happens. 

And you know what you do?  You just keep moving.  Get up and keep on going.  Because the world doesn't stop turning, not even for a second.  So if you try to stop, you'll just get run over. 

Being run over sucks. 

You have forsaken all the love you've taken.

Sleeping on a razor there's nowhere left to fall. 

Your body's aching, every bone is breaking.

Nothing seems to shake it, it just keeps going on. 

Your soul is able, death is all you cradle.

Sleeping on the nails, there's nowhere left to fall. 

You have admired, every man desires.

Everyone is king when there's no one left to pawn. 

There is no peace here, war is never cheap here. 

Love will never meet it, it just gets sold for parts. 

You cannot fight it, all the world denies it.

Open up your eyelids and let your demons run.

I thread the needle through.

You beat the devil's tattoo.

I sleep alone, sweep the streets I used to roam.

We all need some time off.  Time off is good.  I just hate having mine enforced upon me. 

Cole is off with his father for a belated week of Christmas visitation.  I've been quite the emotional wreck today.  For now, I'm okay.  In the next five minutes, who knows.  I'm caffinated and showered, so that's helping for now.  I head to work in half an hour, which will keep me busy for the rest of the night. 

Later I'll tell all about what happened since my last post.  It's been too long since we spoke last and much has happened.  MUCH. 

But that's for later. 

I know this will be temporary...

Tonight, I am lazy. 

I've done stuff.  I made dinner.  It was chicken tenders and vegatables with cheese sauce, so not exactly a huge effort, but it counts!  I... hmmm.  I did other things, I'm sure. Cole and I watched some Doctor Who.  That boy loves the Doctor.  I'm so happy to be raising a geek.  I painted my nails... and then thoroughly messed them up and then took the paint off.  I'm considering repainting them, but that does seem like a lot of work. 

There is a spider in my house somewhere.  I'm trying to decide how much this bothers me.  Really, though, that seems like a lot of effort, too. 

I almost want to do stuff.  I guess it works better that I want things to be done, just not enough to do them. 

I do know that my Sirius radio trial in my car runs out in 6 days, and I'm not happy about it.  Rural Mississippi isn't really known for having an abundance of good, or even decent, radio stations that play remotely recent non-county music.  I call it "country music" only because that is what society calls it, but really, it's an oxymoron.  The problem with the Sirius radio is that they want money from you.  Which I don't have.  Not even a little bit.  So, I think I'm going to start a "Help Julie listen to good music" charitable fund.  Feel free to contact me for details on ho to contribute. 

There.  Now I've accomplished something.  

... over and over and over again...

One Christmas down.  Three to go.  I'm already tired.

We spent Christmas in Texas.  Which was great, except the leaving part.  We saw Tron, which was great.  We ate a lot, which was also great.  B and I rode around one night to look at lights and committed a small act of vandalism, which was fantastic.  Everything went by in a blur.

Next weekend, we will be doing a late Christmas with my family (aka Christmas Round 2), which I am looking forward to.  Cole is uber excited.  After that, Cole will have Christmas Round 3 with his father.  Oh, and I saved back a couple of presents for Cole to open this weekend on New Year's to sort of tide him over...

Logistically, it's been a nightmare.  As my father would say, it's like trying to fit two tons of manure in a one ton truck.  Right now Cole thinks it is great that he gets 3 (or 4) Christmases, but I have a feeling when he is older he is going to hate the holidays.