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Cole has been more headstrong than ever since he turned 4. The resulting power struggle has left me rather worn out. Sometimes I think he is winning.
Anyone who knows me knows I love movies. I'm not as much of a nerd about them as I used to be, but that's mostly because I don't have the time I used to. I've watched a lot of movies, and there aren't many that I will cry at. I cry at the end of Flashdance, without fail. Juno and August Rush get me every time. The opening sequence of Up, too. And Dead Poets Society.
Admittedly, I watch Dead Poets Society and I really don't get it, not on the surface. I've never been a teenage boy, I've never been sent to a boarding school, and I would never send my kids to a boarding school. These 17 year old boys live in a very closed culture of tradition and have almost no personal choice in their own lives. All it takes to change their outlook is one teacher who rather than pound facts and traditions into them, tells them to think for themselves. He tells them to live with passion, rather than blindly and unemotionally plodding in their predestined paths. He teaches them to take a risk, to be impulsive. To seize an opportunity. To do something, anything, because you can. He teaches them to be different, to stand up for what they believe, and to not be afraid - of who they are, of what they feel, to see the world from a different perspective.
And that is what gets me. Because at the end of the movie, as the boys stand on their desks and defy the rules and traditions, they aren't the same boys that began the film. They've learned to think, feel, speak, and stand up for themselves.
Yeah, my kiddo is frustrating. He is stubborn, strong willed, and independent. And at 4, it's maddening. But, as hard as it can be, I don't want to just grind these qualities out of him. I want to teach him to harness them and to control them and to use them. Because while these qualities are currently his biggest problems, they can become his greatest strengths.
I know you've never met me, but I found your blog through another blog. Anyway, just wanted to say I really admire your strength as a single mother. :) My, er, what you could vaguely categorize as a father figure split for a younger woman when I was nine, but my sister was five and my brother, just two. At nine, watching my mother pick up the pieces didn't have the same impact as looking back on it now. I think my brother was as headstrong as Cole is, though! He and my sister both threw all sorts of tantrums, defied often, but, at the end of the day, I know she wouldn't change it for the world, and she was happier without my sorta-father-figure to begin with. Anyway, forgive my rambling - just wanted to say I admire your strength. :)
ReplyDelete--Paige
I came for the Into the Woods reference and stayed for the great thoughts. :)
ReplyDeleteThat was my evil plan... luring you in with Sondheim. ;)
ReplyDelete