I am afraid of a good many things. Falling and things that hop and water... and being forgotten. Of all the many things I fear, I fear being forgotten then most. I don't believe that I am a memorable person. I don't think that I have anything to contribute that is so unique that it could not be done as well or better by another. I think that after I leave a place, that I will just be some girl that was there once but that no one really remembers or regards.
Most Fridays I am delivering and most Fridays I take a delivery to a lady at the nursing home. She isn't very old, probably only in her forties at the most. She appears to have very aggressive MS and has become significantly worse since I started taking her deliveries a couple of months ago. Now, I don't like nursing homes. I've been to a lot and it was usually voluntary, but I don't like them. I don't like the smell, I don't like the cold tile floors, I don't like the dreary colours usually used to decorate an already dismal place. I don't know the reasons that all the people have come there. I know that some are there because there is no other choice, because they require a great deal of care. Some are there because there is no one who can care for them. Some are there simply because no one does care for them.
Not all of these people are forgotten. The lady I deliver to isn't. I don't know if she has any family in the area, but I do know that her nephew calls each week from Arizona to order her dinner. So many there are forgotten, though. So many of them have even forgotten themselves.
I hope to never exist like that. It isn't living. It's dying in slow motion.
"It's dying in slow motion" is such an apt description that it really struck a chord with me. But I have to disagree with you on one point. You are most definitely unique and memorable.
ReplyDeleteI remember you. :) I have enjoyed getting to know you and visit with you at RH. I also enjoy reading your blog. You have a very good way of describing things and giving new perspective.
ReplyDeleteLinz and I were talking about that the other day... the whole idea of being forgotten. I agree with you that it's one of the most scary ideas. And I agree with whichever one of your parents wrote that ^ - "dying in slow motion" is a very apt description.
ReplyDeleteMethinks you've broken through that writer's block. :)
Well put. Also agreeing on the lack of your lacking memorableness. Humorist are the most unforgettable people (honestly, check the American population on how many people know who Ronald Regan was compared to Johnny Carson). You make me laugh nearly every time we communicate. Laughter is one of the bodies most effective remedies.
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